"Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee" got at my heart!

I recently finished reading "Bury my Heart at Wounded Knee" by Dee Brown. I stumbled across this book while rushing after my child through the aisles of the library. The image on the cover caught my eye and as soon as I read the summary I was hooked.

Summary: History of the American Indian displacement and extermination from the West throughout the nineteenth century. It delves into the corrupt, malicious, and violent practices of the American government to steal the Indians' lands and destroy their entire way of life based on the fact that the Indians were not white or Christian.

I can put it no better than this is an amazing read! D. Brown was brilliant for focusing on "how the West was won" from the victims point of view rather than the conqueror. I was thoroughly impressed by the massive amount of facts and details that were written so matter-of-factly. Information that I was astonished that I had never heard of before. I had always known that the American government had cheated and killed Indians without mercy, but I had no idea of the full extent of their debauchery.

Side note, this will most likely make you feel twinges of guilt or shame. And at times you may want to cry or find a time machine to go back into the 1860s and beat up a few corrupt government officials.

I think books like this are most important  because they explain history from "another" point of view. It has always been my understanding that the history books were written by the  subjugator. Thus you get an inaccurate portrayal of history. By getting the subjected's view, you can better understand what the truth is.

And of course, it's important to remember and learn from past atrocities. After reading this, I have no doubt in calling what happened to the American Indian a Holocaust of the most grievous nature. Unfortunately, these kinds of genocides continue to our day and increase in horror with technology. Thus, we all need to learn and pass on this information.

I HIGHLY recommend this book!!! If you have read it, please let me know what you thought.

Adventures in Potty Training

Right before my daughter turned 15 months, I decided it was time to potty train. She had begrudgingly started to walk at 14 months and that was the developmental milestone I would mark for the beginning of her potty training.

We decided to take the mild approach. For a few weeks, potty training involved sitting with her at the same time everyday on the potty and playing games, reading books, and anything to keep her entertained and use to being on the potty for extended periods of time.

Then the hard part began. It was time to teach her that the potty had a sole purpose. Now at the designated time, I decided this to be in the morning and slowly ebb as the time progressed into the afternoon, we would sit at the potty until she went. This took time and patience...mostly patience. Most normal children do not enjoy sitting on a potty waiting for an indefinite period of time. And this time we took away the games and toys, trying to have her focus at the task at hand. She didn't enjoy this at first. She struggled with us and threw fits, but we trudged on clinging to the hope that she would catch on.

And then the bomb! Strip her of the diapers and keep her in training underpants or nothing at all. For a solid week she refused to go on the potty. She waited for the exact moment I let her off the potty and peed on the floor. It was an absolute horror having to clean up her mess, race her to the sink/tub, clean her up, clean her soiled clothes, and then get her into new clothes which were certain to be soiled in under one hour. This happened all day every day for one week.

It started to get better. I realized her week of refusal to pee on the potty was a stubbornness on her part, she was trying to prove to me that she didn't have to start using the potty when I wanted her to. I wonder were she got that from?

By 16 months she was a pro. Since she still didn't use words, she learned to sign us when she wanted to use the potty and would hold it until we got her on one. Of course she still had accidents every now and then, but I was certain the ordeal was over.

I even took pride of my potty trained baby everywhere we went. As soon as I took my small daughter to the bathroom with her potty, people would always exclaim at how young she was to be potty trained, how it was so wonderful. It was great to feel that my daughter was indeed as special as I always knew she was.

It was difficult, I'm not going to lie. I remember the worse day, she had SIX accidents in under 2 hours. These were full-blown accidents too. I have no idea how such a small child could hold that much urine, but she did it. And each time I was certain I could catch a glimmer of satisfaction in her eyes. It took hard work, dedication, consistency and the patience of a saint. There were times that I thought this was fruitless, but thankfully I had my husband to encourage me.

I am a firm believer that any child can be potty trained around a year. You need to start early and keep in mind that our grandmother's had to potty train that early out of necesity and they survived, so can you!

Facing Reality

Last night, before my eyes shut and I entered into a land that no dirty dishes or crying babies were allowed, I found myself in a foul mood. I came to the realization that my "baby" was no longer an actual baby, but at the brink of being a full-blown toddler.


I was in shock. How did this happen without me knowing? Where had the last year and a half gone? Why was I losing my baby and never getting her back???


I now understand that I was being a bit dramatic (a trait I attempt to dissuade from popping up at every chance) and hormonal, but can you blame me? For my child's ENTIRE life I have taken care of her and been the center of her universe. Now she is starting to realize that mommy is not the most unique and interesting person. She now has friends and play dates.


I'm not saying that I am not thrilled that my beautiful, healthy baby is growing into an independent and vivacious toddler, but I always think of her as my precious widdle baby. Stepping into this new stage of life means she's that much closer to becoming a child...and then pre-teen...and then the dreaded teenage! I can already see her with her packing her bags and leaving the woman who gave all for her in the dust.


I was also truly upset because my baby days are over. I am not planning to have another child anytime soon, so this was it...and it's OVER! Sure when I see the newborns or small infants I get that stirring in my heart, but then I hear them scream and see the sheer exhaustion in the parent's eyes and can easily walk away.


I guess with my baby changing, it also means that I'm changing. I'm no longer that bright-eyed girl with free rein of her life and nothing tying her down. I'm going to miss that girl as well, she knew how to party!


Right before I finally let my consciousness slip I decided there was no use fighting the inevitable, but rather accepting my fate. Why was I complaining? I love my family and my life. My child is the light of my life, my motivation and inspiration. My husband is my best friend and amazingly I still find him charming and sweet. I have the luxury of living with both sides of the family ridiculously close (my in-laws live down the street) and they are madly in love with my daughter and help out without hesitation. More than that, I am more comfortable with the person I am than I have ever been.


Here we go...